Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
