Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
