Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
