My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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