well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
