Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
