Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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