WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize