We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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