i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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