At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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