dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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