what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
