You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
