That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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