Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
