was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
a search helicopter?!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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