I need help removing her.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
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