Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
