I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
