i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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