You're so nebulous sometimes
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
