after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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