did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
one two three fourrrrnication!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
