just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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