Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
