Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
