dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
tell me about the eggs
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
