trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
