and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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