is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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