I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
