Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
