I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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