You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
