Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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