There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
