So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
