Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
