I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
