ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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