But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize