and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
