Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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