She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
