so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
