On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
