Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
