I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
