Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
