Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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