2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
