More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
