I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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