Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize