Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
