on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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