She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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