Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The adults are the big ones right?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
