I bet he comes in French.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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