Are we in a gay sports bar?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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