Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
