no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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