Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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