Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Alive.
So much puke
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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