found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
